The last month has been a difficult road.
The first time we began our D/s relationship I was eager and I knew that it was something I desired. Thus, we jumped in with both feet. There was no room to think, only to feel. We flourished until that fateful day that trust was shattered.
This second time around the D/s was approached as something I was not sure I wanted. This time, there was much thinking and therefore, room for doubt. Every negative thought I've ever had about the lifestyle came to the surface and consumed me. So, when we would try to take small steps forward I would suddenly panic and take several steps back. Sir began to worry that the lifestyle was something I no longer wanted. I worried that I was no longer capable of being a submissive. Several tears were shed and there was a lot of soul searching. After one particularly difficult morning I reached my conclusion.
We had been doing more talking about the D/s this time around and less acting on it. I told Sir that I thought we needed to once again jump in with both feet and immerse ourselves in it. That way, it couldn't leave room for me to think and get lost in my own head. I just needed to feel.
So far, it's been working. I am feeling like a submissive again, Sir's Good Girl. Is it the end of the struggle?
The last month has been the hardest of our lives. The highs and lows have been a rollercoaster of emotions. One absolute truth has never changed, I love My Good Girl. I love her more than life itself and never ever want to even think of a day that does not include her. Many discussions, over the last month, have all reached the same conclusion, My Good Girl and I still want a life together and our love is worth fighting for.
ReplyDeleteShe’s My Good Girl again. I see the sweet nervous excitement in her eyes when we discuss plans for a scene and see her beautiful blushing smile when I tell her how beautiful she is and what a very good girl she is.
Do I think this test is over? No I don’t. We are over the worse of it and are well on the road to recovery. I see this terrible time as a challenge for us to overcome. Our relationship is difficult for one reason. We WILL have a future together and as in all relationships there will be times when things are not always the fairytale. We will always be able to look back and know that we survived this fuck load of a challenge and we are still together. We will know that it will never be worse than that time and we survived it, so we can survive anything.
Sir loves you baby.
I love My Good Girl and always will.