The last month has been a difficult road.
The first time we began our D/s relationship I was eager and I knew that it was something I desired. Thus, we jumped in with both feet. There was no room to think, only to feel. We flourished until that fateful day that trust was shattered.
This second time around the D/s was approached as something I was not sure I wanted. This time, there was much thinking and therefore, room for doubt. Every negative thought I've ever had about the lifestyle came to the surface and consumed me. So, when we would try to take small steps forward I would suddenly panic and take several steps back. Sir began to worry that the lifestyle was something I no longer wanted. I worried that I was no longer capable of being a submissive. Several tears were shed and there was a lot of soul searching. After one particularly difficult morning I reached my conclusion.
We had been doing more talking about the D/s this time around and less acting on it. I told Sir that I thought we needed to once again jump in with both feet and immerse ourselves in it. That way, it couldn't leave room for me to think and get lost in my own head. I just needed to feel.
So far, it's been working. I am feeling like a submissive again, Sir's Good Girl. Is it the end of the struggle?
